| Death has me in his grasp |
[28 Aug 2003|12:29am] |
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I think there's something wrong with me. I have slept for the past 16 out of 24 hours and I'm still tired. 7 of those hours were spent in a meeting because some people don't understand the concept of being on time and the other hour was spent walking around NYC. And Im starting to hurt, Im starting to ache all over. I need to go to bed, shit, but I can't bring myself to bed. It's only 3:20.
I got the script for POTC 2 today, I'm disgusted. I read through the first 3 pages and I couldn't stop laughing, it wasnt good laughter either. Disney's writers have gotten lazy and have gone downhill. Here's what I'm talking about:
Jack Sparrow: Just...try not to do anything stupid? wanders off to find Elizabeth
Will Turner: Waits, gets bored, goes off to find trouble
-insert well choreographed sword-fighting scene here-
WELL CHOREOGRAPHED SWORD-FIGHTING SCENE?! -dies- And it was like that the entire way through! This better be a really, really rough draft of a script or I am out. Contracts are just a piece of paper, right? -snorts- I'm so tired, I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
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| Blame Canada! |
[25 Aug 2003|11:48pm] |
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I'm back in Canada now. And I really hate it. I went skiing earlier, big mistake. I haven't been skiing in probably, 13 years, I think the last time I went was with River when he was still alive. Wow, that brings back memories. I can't believe it's been almost 10 years. -blinks- Well, I survived. Barely. But, sadly, my knee did not -laughs- Its swollen and black and blue and bloody, it hurts. -snorts- It is so fucked up, it won't bend more than halfway. Damn. I may end up going to the doctor after all.
( Chew On This )
I'm taking Lily & Jack back to NYC with me. I missed them too much to leave them home, I was turning into a train wreck, and I promised Lily I would take her to see The Lion King on Broadway. I have a feeling I'll regret that one, but it's worth it. Once Upon A Time In Mexico is premiering in Venice this week, I should have gone but I'm too lazy and too busy. I could still go I guess, there's nothing really stopping me, well, except for my damn knee.
And another thing, the E! interview was complete bullshit. I would not buy my kids weed, but the way I figure it, it would be better if I got it for them, than it would be for them to score it off the street. You don't know what kind of shit you buy, and three days later you wake up in an alley with no clothes, naked, wet and cold? You don't want that for your kids. And that's complete bullshit that people would think that I want my kids to smoke weed bad enough that I'd buy it for them. Even I'm not that bad of a parent.
Oh, and Bitch, don't even call me a bad father again until you have children of your own.
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| It's the freakin weekend.... |
[23 Aug 2003|06:48pm] |
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mood |
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Expect a real update from me later today. Or tomorrow. And it will be plenty bitchy so I don't disappoint any of you. I promise. :D
I miss my family :(
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| I am going to fucking melt. |
[15 Aug 2003|04:27am] |
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mood |
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My neighbors are dropping like flies. It's never been so hot, 4 of my neighbrors have been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I think I may be next. Really! So I went out to the mailbox this morning and my neighbor's kids were there, and my neighbor was pretty old, he was the nicest old man, Lily adopted him practically. But he's dead. I guess he'll be in Heaven with Nemo, right? -laughs- But really, the French are truly dropping like flies. It's never been so hot. I really should get air conditioning...
I love chocolate cream. I could eat it all day.
Lily fell down and just about killed herself today. It was really gross. I mean, it made me cringe looking at her knees. i dont remember getting hurt that bad when I was little, it was disgusting, I had to touch it and I thought I was going to vomit, I don't have the stomach to put up with those things. And no Tina, it was NOT because of negligent parenting >:O
What else, what else. I'm sure there's something I could write about. Apparently Keira's decided that she's going to call me Dad -snorts- And she's demanding allowance now. I'm going to go bankrupt. Just like Mike Tyson, she'll mysteriously blow $400 million. -snorts- Travis and Brody are here, Christina's coming in September. Thank God I won't be around :D But I will miss my kids and Liv while I'm gone.
I think this will wrap up my update. Maybe I'll write about something worthwhile later. Maybe not. I have something else to say right now.
Do not come to my house. Do not think about coming to my house. Unless you're invited. Because unless you're invited, you aren't welcome. Yes you may be my or Liv's friend, but do not come unless you're invited because if you aren't, we don't want to see you. Do not even stop by. Except Michelle because she's staying for less than a day and Liv said she'd kick my ass if I don't OK it. And don't try to get on my good side, I no longer have one.
I really want a ham and cheese sandwich with cheesecake for dessert but it's too fucking hot to eat. So I think I'm going to head to bed. Except the fan is broken. Therefore I will be laying there frying. Johnny-Burger with some Liv-Fries anyone?
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| The Lion King. 27 times. In a row. |
[08 Aug 2003|11:51am] |
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Love came to visit. Well she's still here, but she's been kind of quiet. It's probably just me being paranoid, maybe I'll go talk to her later.
I think we're all going to Disneyland tomorrow or Sunday, not sure which day the girls want to go. -laughs- That is going to be hell -snickers- I'll just let Love and Liv ride around on Space Mountain with Lily while I just wander off and they can "Meet me at the car in 3 hours" -grins-
I don't know what to write, I don't really do anything interesting -laughs- OH! Liv almost fucking killed me in the car yesterday! I let her drive my porsche so she can get used to it and she seriously almost fucking got me killed. I saw the light, I swear to you, I saw the light. I think I may have even had a brush with God -snorts-
Day after day I'm all confused
And I look for the light through the pouring rain
You know that's a game that I hate to lose
And I'm feeling the strain, ain't it a shame
Oh give me the beat, boys
And free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock 'n' roll
And drift away....
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| Carpe Diem: Seize The Day |
[04 Aug 2003|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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thirsty |
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Well I have a feeling this is going to be one of my longer entries. But fear not, Liv told me I could. And since I value her opinion over most of yours, her opinion is the one I think I'll listen to.
There's a few people I want to talk about, two in particular, whom I both love dearly. These two people, they are amazing people. They do great things, in fact, to this point I can't think of a sole horrible thing that either one of them have done. And that's great, because I'm sitting here thinking about them and realizing what a pathetic bastard I am. But that's another paragraph for another update on another day. Not today. These two people, they probably aren't even going to read this. But I would give my life for them and I almost did yesterday for a certain one. And now that person knows who they are. But you need to learn to act on things. I love you two, I love you two more than I love myself, but this has got to stop. I can't fix things for you, I can't make you two become happy. But I can try to help. I can try and that's what I've been doing. But apparently, it's not enough, because things aren't changing, in fact I think things are getting worse. Now maybe it's me; maybe things are getting better and I'm a rambling asshole. Whatever. Doesn't change the fact that you two don't appreciate things while you have them. You don't take time out to just look around and see everything; see the amazing people you meet, see the beautiful places you've been. And I think you two take that for granted. I think you two are so caught up in yourselves right now that you don't believe that there's more to life. Well there is. Remember that everything you have could be taken away from you in an instant, in the blink of an eye everything have, life as you know it, could completely change. And that's why I'm doing this, not to hurt you, not to make you feel bad, not to make you cry, not to make you think that I hate you. Because I love you two no matter what.
I always tell you two that there is something more, something unexplainable that you don't even understand yet. And I still mean that. It has taken me 36 years of fucking up, doing stupid things, and just being an overall prick to know that. And I'm 40 now, and I can honestly say that the past four years of my life have taught me everything I ever needed to know. This thing is going to come at you when you least expect it, when you don't think it's ever going to come, and you think that all to life is what you see, it's going to hit you. It's going to come so fast, hit you so hard, it's going to fill like you've just been hit upside the head with a baseball bat. You won't have lived until you find it, and then when you do, you're going to wonder how you ever lived without it. Because every day after it will seem important. You aren't going to do stupid, reckless things anymore. Everything will have a purpose, you will never doubt why things happen or why you do things again. And that feeling alone, that feeling right there is going to make this all worthwhile. I promise you that. There is something for everyone, something that speaks to them in their own way, something that when the best comes, it always exceeds expectations. But you just need to give it time. It may happen tomorrow, it may happen in 10 years. But it will happen. It's going to ground you, knock you on your ass, and you are going to thank God you have it. And then you will cherish it with your life, you will do anything to protect it, whether it be your kids, your wife, or your dog. It will become your life, it will be come your inspiration. And nothing else will compare, nothing else will ever seem like enough. Because this thing, this one thing will take the cake. Until you find it, you feel like you're constantly falling, like you find something but then you eventually slip away from it. But this one thing, you will land straight on it, and you will never fall off. You need to trust me on this, because this time, I'm right. I know I am. You just need to believe that there's something better out there. A little faith goes a long way.
That's enough of that rambling for now. I'll probably have something more to say, I usually do. -laughs- Well Liv and I have toured Paris quite a bit. We went to the Moulin Rouge, saw a show and had dinner. Then we went dancing -laughs- Oh God, as much of an asshole as I made out of myself, it was fun. We went to the Eiffel Tower too, that was nice. It wasn't crowded, and it was just....pleasant. We went to the Louvre, saw Miss Mona Lisa. Then we went, walked around for a few minutes and had dinner on the Riviera. I hate classy dinners -laughs- They always make you feel so out of place, like you're going to eat with the wrong salad for or something. Then we went and walked around, and stopped at the Cathedral de Saint Michaelangelo. I used to go there all the time -shrugs- But things change.
I have things to do, a castle to clean, people to bother. I know you love my update, don't lie -laughs-
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| Barbie Jeeps, D&G Suits, and Easy Bake Ovens... |
[30 Jul 2003|03:58pm] |
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mood |
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Home Sweet Home. Thank God. Just what I needed. I don't think I've felt this good in a long time. It's a really nice feeling just knowing you don't have to do anything, there's no one who's going to be looking at you 24/7, there's no one poking and prodding around in your space. It's just so...simple. And I love it. I love just laying on the couch, playing with Lily, having Orlando cook for me. Everything. Nothing compares.
I act like shit don't phase me, inside it drives me crazy, my insecurities could eat me alive..
Orlando and I had an....interesting day. It all started when we took the Barbie Jeep to the mall to try out the system he installed for Tina. So we're just pimping along, listening to 50 Cent with the subwoofer up, bouncing along (literally), and Liv pulls up next to us in the Lexus. She ridicules us for a few minutes, takes out Starbucks orders, and speeds off, burning rubber in our faces. Damn, that sucked. So we get to the mall, and Liv comes back, long enough to laugh at us hysterically, give us our coffees, and she's on her way. So we go inside and we go to the t-shirt store, which you can see what we bought behind the following cut, and we see these teenies. Orlando decides to harass them. So one of them screams at him, and he screams back. The girl ran off. Then another one yelled "PARLET!", so I yelled it back at her. Then we got this brilliant idea, because they were taking pictures of us, to take pictures of them. So we did it and they just looked at us funny, it was rather amusing in all. Then we went to the Dolce & Gabbana store and got matching suits. God they are just the.....I can't decide if we look absolutely ridiculous in them or if we look stunning -snorts- ( Our Purchases )
Then we came home and went for a walk, to which he completely ignored ( the chance of a lifetime )
God I can't believe people are that....well -shakes head- We sat on the dock for a couple hours, I swear to God we were half drunk we were being so obnoxiously loud and stupid. Then we went inside and got hungry. I wanted pizza, he wanted Chinese, we settled on cake. Don't ask how we got cake out of pizza and Chinese. So we look around and see Lily's Easy Bake Oven. So we get it out, and realize theres no instructions. I've never used the thing before, she uses it at Vanessa's house because let's face it, in all reality, I refuse to let my daughter eat her cooking :x. We fucked around with that shit for 3 hours and still didn't get it to work. Then I saw the box laying on the floor with the directions on the side and we were in business. It was the smallest fucking brownie of my life but it sure was great. Tina's concert wasn't bad either
There's also something else I need to do, I need to apologize to someone. I'm sorry for yesterday, I was just in a shitty mood, and I don't know why I took it out on you. There was just a lot of other shit going on, and at that moment I was already about to explode. And I did it to you, which was wrong, and I know that and I'm sorry. And if you don't accept it this time around, I'll have to keep bothering you until you do. That's all there is to it. Because you know you can't get rid of me, as much as you'd like to. :D
To wrap this entry up, I also need to say a special hello to Huey. You are great. You are corny and funny and out of all of your quirks, you are genuine. So thank you for that, for being one of the few genuine people I know.
EDIT: I think I may like Batman now :x
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| I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired.. |
[27 Jul 2003|01:33am] |
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How do things go from euphorically wonderful to shitty beyond repair? I don't know how things got so fucked up, I really don't. I can usually deal with my shit on my own and keep it to myself, but lately I can't keep it to myself. Everything sets me off. And it really shouldn't, because I can't have that happen. I can't lose control. I have to be in control. But it's easier said than done.
Lily and Liv got a dog yesterday -laughs- Yes Lily AND Liv. It hates me. No shit. It wants to rip my head off every time I walk down the hall past Lily's room. It's name is Batman because it looks like fucking Batman -snorts- It is the ugliest thing
I'm supposed to take Lily to see Christina & Justin in concert on Tuesday -laughs- Oh man. I really hope they sell beer. I don't think they do, I think it's considered a family function so they won't sell it. Damn.
I've been working a lot lately. Well not that much. I work when the kids are asleep, it works out better that way. It's kind of like a separation of church and state -laughs- Shit. Lily's dog is barking at something. Think of this as the day that... -falls down the stairs- Damn.
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[22 Jul 2003|03:18pm] |
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mood |
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AND TO CAP IT OFF…
JOHNNY DEPP
After filming "Pirates of the Caribbean," Johnny Depp still had those scary, shiver-me-timbers gold caps on his teeth when he dined with pals in LA, and one shiny chopper suddenly fell mid-chomp -- PLOP! -- onto his plate! Johnny calmly fished the dental nugget out of the entrée and popped it in his pocket.
Published on: July 21, 2003
God damnit. It just happened last night, too. Off to the dentist. Who wants to babysit?
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| Rants |
[19 Jul 2003|06:18pm] |
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mood |
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I promised yall a real post, so I guess this is it. I don’t really know how to come about this, but before you talk to me or go off to all your friends blabbering about how “cool” I am, I think you should read this, because it may change your mind completely. I am a dork and I admit that –snorts-
Yes Im single. NO Im not looking. I cant do that right now and its not for me, its more for my kids because I cant have Lily get attached to someone again and then have to explain to her why they arent there.
Man Im pissed. Im about to fucking kill Clay Aiken, land me in jail again. But its for the most important cause out there so Im game. Which reminds me of something else that pisses me off like nothing else: Vanessa.
I wish I could just get rid of her and make her disappear for one day. One day without 3 am drunk cell phone calls, that would be Heaven. There have been people, I wont name names, who have already disrespected my relationship with my childen. And even for Vanessa, I have to ask you this: How can you take something so sacred and use it against the one it’s sacred to? Nothing is too good or too stupid or too childish for my children. NOTHING. If you know me at all, you know that I love my kids more than anything, I would do anything for either one of them, I love them more than my life. And shes trying to take that away from me? No. I will fight with my life for them because they are my life. Nothing and no one can keep me from them. And I am going to hold onto them like hell because they are my life, they are all I have and I don’t think I can express how much Ive learned from them, from Lily alone, its absolutely crazy how much one little person, let alone two, can change your life. And no one, not even Vanessa, will keep me from my kids. Youll have to kill me first.
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| First entry? |
[18 Jul 2003|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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This is my first post and well to be quite honest I dont really know what to say. Well Im sure you all probably know me, or at least who I am. But as Christina Aguilera said in an interview with E! this morning, you dont know the real me. No one really knows the real me. But youre about to find out. Ill do a real post later, but this is just your warning, I may or I may not be who you expect me to be. Im an average guy, Im not The Messiah, Im not God. Im just who I am, Im just me.
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